My friends (now bona fide lawyers) have been trying to encourage me through bar hell by regaling me with their own tales of bar review woe. I am not going to belittle their troubles, but I just can’t imagine that any of them ever felt this behind or this out of control.
Because to be honest… I have come unhinged. I am over-stressed and over-tired and I don’t have a grip on my studies, my time or my family. It’s starting to bleed into my relationship with my son, my relationship with my husband. And while I know that hubby & I can get through tough times, I worry (perhaps overly-so) about my relationship with the toddler.
I have worked hard at remaining “attached” while finishing a demanding law school program, but now I’m in full-on neglect mode. I leave most days of the week for long, long stretches, only to return home distracted and irritable. I wake up cranky from having gotten to bed too late and having been woken too many times during the night. I sometimes try to just close the door and work in the bedroom, using earplugs to drown out the knocks on the door or making brief appearances when I hear a “mommy see” coming from the living room.
In one month (ONE MONTH!!) this madness will be over. But in one month, from the perspective of a toddler, my neglect will culminate in my disappearance for three days and three nights. I know he can sense my stress. I know (on some level) that he’ll also get over it. … We’ll all get over it. But I just wish I could have better prepared us all for this craziness, and I wish that I could be the sort of quick-thinking youngster who just gets through all this material and isn’t so distracted. I know I’m being a bit over-dramatic, but this is HARD!
Secured transactions, here I come!