Overcooked

The anniversary of T’s due date recently passed & I’ve been thinking a lot about the end of my pregnancy. A due date is probably something only the parents (& especially birth mothers!) of very overdue babies think about year after year. Two weeks doesn’t seem like a long time (yep, T came out exactly 2 weeks late & even then only after acupuncture & about 60 hours of labor… he really didn’t want to come out) but it felt like an eternity at the time & it still does now in a strange way (the due date anniversary passed but I’m only starting to really plan his birthday party now… & I’ve still got plenty of time!).

To this day I don’t know what to tell my pregnant friends who are approaching or past their due dates. Everyone told me to enjoy the time with my husband. To enjoy time by myself. To enjoy the quiet.

Yeah right! I don’t know if “enjoy” is possible at one day past your due date, let alone one week. (It’s akin to the carpe diem advice that Glennon Melton wrote so eloquently about on her blog.) Sure I relaxed (um, what else was I going to do with a 7.5 lb. baby in my belly) but I did a lot of nervous walking & rocking in my mom’s old rocking chair. (I also cooked a lot of spicy food, to no avail…) And when I went for my frequent check-ups I nearly growled when I saw laboring women arrive on the delivery floor with their overnight bags (especially the one who loudly & calmly announced that her water broke at home).

I might tell my overdue friends to enjoy a quiet & hot meal (you know, the kind of meal you never get to experience after baby comes…) but sitting is uncomfortable & there’s really no room in your stomach for an entire meal anyway. Nesting (if you caught that bug… I never did) is pretty useless once you’re overdue since you’ve probably already done most of your baby prep. Movies are hit or miss since hormones may make certain types of movies less enjoyable than they’d otherwise be (I was sensitive to violence & cried on a dime). Maybe you’re lucky enough to still be working (I had already decided to take the semester off from law school & was dying with boredom).

Let’s face it, when you’re overdue with your first child, you’re bored, anxious & uncomfortable. My advice? Try to stay busy with whatever is distracting & isn’t loathsome. How’s that for cheery?

As for that due date anniversary? Celebrate it alone with your partner or spouse or friends in the years that follow: Really enjoy that quiet, hot meal when you have the opportunity. Let’s face it, we working, AP types don’t get to be alone much & need every excuse to force ourselves to get out!

MFA Dad & I haven’t celebrated T’s due date anniversary yet. … But luckily we’ve got plenty of time to fit it in before that birthday party!

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3 Comments

Filed under Attachment Parenting, Mothering, Parenting, Partnership

3 responses to “Overcooked

  1. Katie

    Celebrate, my friend! We miss you out here. This brought back fond memories of hanging out with you guys immediately pre-baby and then when he was just a wee bairn!

    …and now if I can only take a leaf out of your book re: my “overdue” dissertation proposal… :-/

    (PS, that’s the most complicated emoticon I have ever attempted)

    • Oh, Kate! I imagine the wait for the dissertation really is something the wait for the babe (& that defending is something like labor?!). I hope your wait is over soon & you get to celebrate, too!

      And I always remember so fondly especially our little impromptu picnic by the train station. Miss you guys!!

  2. Pingback: Mother Birthday(s)… Blah, blah, blah… | Mom, JD

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