I was going to write a nice, thoughtful, philosophical post about AP & community for Attachment Parenting Month.
Hmmm… What the &$!?#% happened to October?!
It’s been one of the busiest, messiest, most stressful months (plus) in recent memory. Good stress. Good busy. But sometimes stomach-turning nonetheless.
When I could catch my breath, I did 2 things that helped me survive… I hung out with other mamas who are in the same boat as me.
On one occasion I think I was in a coma-like state & just sat, staring from my perch on a sofa as I listened to a small group of other outside-jobbing-AP-type mamas, mindlessly shoveling yummy food into my mouth.
I was dead tired but made a point to get out for my once-monthly working mama potluck. I felt better just sitting there, with an awesome group of supportive women who knew what I was going through even if I couldn’t verbalized it (deadlines, interviews, three-year-old challenges, school conferences, getting dressed in the morning, etc.).
They also understood why I showed up with a foot-long link of sausage & some beet salad from the deli down the street… No one judged or even batted an eye.
It was instantly healing.
I also forced myself to carve out time to go out for drinks with a dear friend who is also a like-minded mama with an outside-the-home day job. We had been planning our little outing for over a month! I was on the verge of rescheduling with her for the 10th time when I just realized I certainly needed connect & maybe she did too.
It was a real treat & we both let off some steam, swapped troubles & just chit-chatted.
It’s taken me a while (seemingly a long while) to find my little “tribe” & cultivate these relationships. It’s hard to do when your working & parenting & blogging & trying to sleep.
It’s also hard because… well… parenting isn’t like college. What I mean is that in college you are pretty close to guaranteed to find a small group of friends, be it in classes, a dorm, activities, the social scene, etc.
In parenting, well, your neighbor might have a baby too but that doesn’t mean your lives are anything alike. You parent differently, you work, you don’t work, you feed your kids totally different things. … Parenting seems to drive us apart more than anything!
So it’s precious to find a supportive group of mamas. And it takes work. And sometimes you can only find them on-line. But if your willing to put yourself out there (I’m totally an introvert, but meetup connected me to my awesome group of like-minded mamas) you might just be surprised at who’s out there.
This post is part of the Attachment Parenting Month blog event, hosted by Attachment Parenting International.
Learn more by visiting API Speaks, the blog of Attachment Parenting International.
(Actually, I think I’m too late to participate but that’s just the way things have gone lately!)
Mom, JD 